My Life with Alchemy

Updated: Sep 4

Like so many other European-descended Christian daughters in modern America, I grew up in a strictly traditional, patriarchal, stoic and (at least for me) highly academic family. My mother passed before I was two and my father was one of six siblings. five being men. All grew up by direction of the Church. Growing up, my childhood was filled with memories of visiting my grandmothers old grand house (built by an earlier ancestor) which was filled with books, antique furniture and religious icons. My uncle was a student in the seminary of Mount of St. Mary's Seminary of the West near Cincinnati, Ohio and we would go to visit whenever we could. The huge, grand building of pillars, old stone tiles and hushed walkways where students labored tirelessly to obtain wisdom are sweet images to me. My memories are filled with visiting grand old churches, incense, stone pillars, and amber sunlight shining through old windows. I was raised a deeply spiritual woman, dedicated to logic and good sense. I think these early memories are what began my journey toward becoming a student of Alchemy and early sciences, not to mention my life-long dedication to medicine.

David Teniers the Younger (1610–1690), The Alchemist, ca. 1643–45. Oil on panel, 20 1/8 x 28 in (51 x 71 cm). Herzog Anton Ulrich Museum, Braunschweig (139)

As I grew up and entered college, I was yet again surrounded with memories of a seminary. Although this seminary was long retired and and since become a small college, the faded images of its earlier life were still around. It was during college, hours away from family and it the middle of nowhere, that I had a crises of faith. I began to feel a pull away from the Catholic Church but I did not know why or for what reason. I remember Sundays on campus. Everyone was headed to the huge, old church while I searched for reasons to stay in my dormitory. I was studying music but feeling pulled to know other things of the world. I remember staring at my books on the shelf and longing to flip through their pages endlessly but feeling like they were the wrong books. Meanwhile, I was in a time period of my life where my spirituality was deeply questioned. One thing about me that has always been a thorn to my heart has been that I have had certain gifts my entire life and they have been both my companion and my enemy at times. At this time period of my life, where I was realizing how alone in the world I was, I pushed the experience of my gifts and spirituality as far away from me as I could. Looking back, it was obviously a phase of being in my late teens and early twenties but the way those years happened could have only led me toward questioning everything yet again a few years later.

After college, I married my first great love. He became Catholic before we married as I would not marry any other way. We were so naive, so young, so in love. A month after marriage, he had to leave for Officer Candidate School for the Navy while I was alone at home in our small apartment in our hometown of Toledo, Ohio, contemplating religion, history, and everything I thought I knew about myself. I remember at night, the creaking floors and branches scraping against the windows kept me up all night until I decided to find refuge in my books and candles again. It was during this time in my life, I made the bold choice to check out the new age, fringe shop at the local flea market in downtown. I picked up some vintage tarot cards, some incense, and a book on early European religions. Flipping through its pages at home, the symbols on the pages mixed with the incense all around me made my head spin with whispers and memories of being back in the huge grand churches and seminaries growing up. I felt like I was transported to a time before my birth and somehow I felt entirely where I was suppose to be at that particular moment. Within days of this little trip, I started experiencing my gifts again to a degree I hadn't since my childhood. My life was forever changed after those days. I found myself entirely dedicated to hunting down everything I could about astrology, alchemy, early sciences and early religions. It was like coming home. Every book, every website, every incense filled night was full of falling in love.

Since those days, I have met some extraordinary people and experienced some extraordinary things. As the years have passed and I continue to accept my spiritual gifts, learn about my love of alchemy, early sciences and early religion, I find that my life-story could have only ever pointed in the direction that it has gone. Walking in the steps left behind by the great minds and seekers before me, I find I yearn to dedicate my life to learning and practicing what masters left for me and others to find. When I followed the arrows toward where I am, I had to question everything and that was a terrifying experience. I don't regret any of the hurt, fear, abandonment or pain. Alchemy and learning the early sciences in a new age is what has led me to realize that my gifts are best used in serving others through Massage Therapy and hopefully as a physician later on.

"The lips of wisdom are closed, but to the ears of understanding." - The Kybalion