The Silent Flame Of UnMothers Day

Have you ever been to a party and found that your arrival was a surprise even though you were invited or got to a dinner and found that there wasn't a place setting for you? It's an uncomfortable feeling. It's like you aren't sure if you were actually considered as part of the event but now everyone seems to be trying to find a way to make a space for you. It still leaves you feeling almost left out or even unwelcome in some way. It's a feeling of needing to almost apologize for your inconvenient presence even though you were suppose to be there.

On Mothers Day, there is a silent weight that so many feel that is left in the shadows. It's a deep wound that many carry that is there but can't really be spoken about because you don't want to be a "debbie-downer". For some, it's the loss of the Mothers in our lives. For others, it's the immense pain of being without a child. While we all are so quick to engage in the day of appreciation for the Mothers and Mother figures in our lives, we can't forget to give ourselves permission to acknowledge the shadow aspect of this day without being made to feel like the grief is uninvited or burdensome.

As a therapist, the quiet grief of Mothers day is spoken about on my table and it's a day I've realized that is a particularly painful and difficult day for so many. I've found that so many of us can take this day a little for granted. As a woman, I understand the incredible weight of this particular holiday, as someone who not only has never experienced the gift of bringing life into this world but also as a daughter who has never had memory of her own mother. Every single year, I hear so many stories and witness so many emotions while I work on members of our community. Just as it's important I create a safe and considered space for clients on my table individually, I also want to create a space for the larger community to acknowledgment their grief and burdens at large. It's important that we all feel we are able to acknowledge loss amidst the life, pain amidst the joy, anger amidst the appreciation. Mothers Day is a celebration of life but it is also a day for the unmothered to feel and grieve and be able to do so with dignity.

For the next 24 hours, and for every year that follows, on the day after Mothers Day, Old Thyme Medicine will light a red candle throughout the day in acknowledgment of those that carry the unspoken grief of lost mothers, unknown mothers, and those that hope to be mothers. According to many traditions, red is the color that represents our ancestors and of the cyclical nature and life and death.

We hope our little candle brings a small measure of comfort to each and every person

it's meant for on this day.